I actually have had multiple experiences, online and in real life. A photo I had sent to a boyfriend got spread after we broke up. Additionally, there were people spreading rumours about me at my old school, which caused me to get bullied and bothered at school and online.
At some point, my phone number was forwarded to a lot of people, even people living nowhere near me. Guys who were way older than me started to bother me. Just because I had sent one picture once to my ‘boyfriend’ and a lot of rumours about me were going around, people looked at me like I was the ‘easy slut’. If I said no I received death threats and they only kicked me more when I was down.
Because of all this, I had a guy blackmailing me constantly for a long period, it almost resembled stalking. He would not leave me alone until I would do something with him. Since then, I have had so many guys bother me online, and even now sometimes still do, because it is, obviously, so much easier to do so from behind a screen. Guys who keep pushing and forcing you, because they feel like you owe them just because you’re wearing a short dress in one of your Instagram posts. Guys who send random dickpics, guys who think you always have to reply, otherwise you’re just a ‘high class whore’, and so the list goes on and on.
Of course, it’s not just guys who do this, gender does not play a role. I myself did only have experiences with men doing this. Girls usually start behaving in a nasty way when you have one strike behind your name, whilst they often do the same things themselves, only the things they have done don’t get exposed. I hope that by sharing my story I can show others that it is not their fault. I have walked around for such a long time with the feeling that this was all my own fault and that I had brought it upon myself, even though that was never the case. If a guy is bothering you or is trying to cross your boundaries, it is never because of something that you did. This is always their fault, never, and I mean never, yours. I know how shitty it can be, at school, but really everywhere. Because this is not a problem that only occurs at school, this occurs just as much in the workplace, within family, everywhere. I hope to give women, and men who have experienced something alike, some extra power with my story. I hope they know that they are not alone and their story is just as important. Whatever other people have to say about you, it is never your fault. Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself and to be who you are. You are allowed to be, no matter how many people are trying to prove the opposite.❤️